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My second baby

Sure, being #96 in line might not seem like a big deal, but there are a lot of books being sold on Amazon!


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photo credit: Kelly Sikkema / Unsplash

It occurred to me that maybe some parents might be interested in learning how I am (and other parents are) able to work from home as a freelance writer (among other things), and if it’s right for them, follow the path.

I worked as a comedian and musician for a long time (and still do this kind of work regularly), so writing isn’t way outside of my wheelhouse. But even if you’re not the most amazing writer in the world, if it’s something you’re passionate about, you can still do it. Here’s how:

Start…


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Photo credit: Lena Kudryavtseva / Unsplash

Mascara: I am the most important piece of make-up, because no one has perfectly long, dark, luscious lashes. Puffy pink lips can be acquired by gently brushing them with a tooth brush, blushed cheeks can be had with a squeeze or a gentle rub, and voila; the face is camera ready.

Lipstick: I beg to differ. It is me who is the shit. I come in a wide assortment of colors, including freaky ones like black, orange and white. It’s not all about berry-ripe lips symbolizing a virginal, fresh sex object ready to be plucked. …


Here’s how you can submit your work to The Monthly Visitor.

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Photo credit: Neel / Unsplash

Hello and thank you for your interest in writing for The Monthly Visitor. Please bookmark this page for fast future reference.

The Monthly Visitor is a satire publication on Medium which features short, witty pieces of satire on all things female-oriented. Previous satire writing experience not necessarily required; a keen eye for a clever, funny take on female-oriented themes (this is open to interpretation) is what works on this site. Here is an example of the kind of thing we are looking for.

If this is your jam, please…


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Credit: Gabrielle Rocha Rios / Unsplash

Hey girl! How’s it going?

Look, I just wanted to apologize, because I know I have been trying to kill you for some time, now, and you have finally figured it out. I wasn’t trying to do it quickly, if that makes you feel any better; I was more aiming for a nice, slow, long, drawn out death.

I wasn’t spying, exactly, but I did maybe see you Google what chemicals I’m treated with. They’re not listed on the box, but yes, dioxins (a bleach bi-product) and glyphosates (pesticides) are involved in making me. I admit it: I’m “probably carcinogenic”…


I have to be honest, I didn’t know it would last as long as it has

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Still shot from Episode 20: The Maiden Voyage | @SmithFamilyFolio on Instagram

We started our family video series in April/May of 2020 as a Covid family hobby, and 22 episodes later, we are still shooting adventures, taking trips together as a family and loving spending our time together.

We’ve gotten up close and personal with baby foxes, baby owls, baby raccoons, baby deer, bugs, birds and butterflies. We’ve explored the nature around us, and even delved into the supernatural. …


This series of posts highlights fun, unique activities for kids of all ages

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Photo credit: Janko Ferlič / Unsplash

It’s strange how, during the pandemic, I’ve been mad at nature, yet have also drawn her more closely. I can’t help myself but feel angry toward the omnipotent force that sometimes I maybe take for granted. Perhaps I feel betrayed. What have I ever done to nature? Well, plenty, just by being alive in the world in the time that I am. How many Happy Meals (cups of coffee, etc) did I eat out of styrofoam containers, as a kid and as even an adult? Countless. Maybe…


This slice of history offers plum views of the Delaware River and all the red elderberries you can forage

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The view through the bushes, across the train tracks on the Pennsylvania side of this sweet relic

What do you like to do for fun? My husband, toddler and I love to scurry around the woods like a bunch of squirrels, finding things that have been forgotten about, buried under a century or brush, slowly rotting into oblivion. We also like to see the various animals and insects, too.

This bridge is out in the open, and we’ve driven past and under it many, many times. On a few occasions, we even tried to go find a way…


This title may read like a chapter in a witch book, but no, I’m just offering some no nonsense advice that will improve health and happiness

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photo credit: Smith Family Folio

When you go to the beach, are your eyes (and your fingers) drawn down into the sand? Do flicks of green and brown glass or shimmering mother of pearl shells silently scream out to you, “Pick me up!” Do you love nothing more than to stick your hands into mud and pull our crystals, minerals and gemstones (or maybe order them online)? Chances are, you might be a rockhound…


Bet you didn’t know as much about cherries as you’re about to…

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Photo credit: Brooke Lark / Unsplash

Who doesn’t like cherries? Cherries are one of the best fruits on the planet, and I’ll go so far as to say one of the best foods on the planet, and to anyone who disagrees, I’m willing to debate you in a public forum, any time, bud!

Here are the things I love about cherries:

Jessica Delfino

I write about life with 1 husband, 1 kid, 1 cat, at times funny. www.Twitter.com/JessicaDelfino Bylines: New Yorker, The NY Times, The Atlantic, McSweeney’s.

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