Updated Lyrics: She’ll Be Comin Round The Mountain When She Comes
I took the liberty of rewriting the lyrics to “She’ll Be Comin Round The Mountain When She Comes” to reflect today’s modern values and experiences. Because it’s time someone did.
Original lyrics:
Breakdown:
V1: She’ll be comin round the mountain when she comes;
Rewrite: She’ll be flying into the airport when tickets go on sale on Kayak.com
V2. She’ll be driving 6 white horses when she comes;
Rerite: She’ll be driving a rental Toyota sedan with an automatic transmission unless she gets a free upgrade when she comes
V3. Oh we’ll all go out and meet her when she comes;
Rewrite: Oh whoever happens to be home will go and meet her and the rest will see her at dinner
V4. And we’ll kill the old red rooster when she comes;
Rewrite: And we’ll all go to Red Lobster or Olive Garden or that new place that opened because I have a Groupon for it when she comes
V5. And we’ll all have chicken and dumplings when she comes;
And we’ll have a wildly varying assortment of foods for dinner because some of us are on paleo, others are vegetarian, some of us have nut, egg or gluten allergies, there is one vegan who happens to be the weirdest one of us all and one person on a juice fast; I suggested maybe she take a break for one day since we’re having a special guest but it turned into a big fight and that’s the last time I ever do that…when she comes.
V6. We’ll be singing hallelujah when she comes;
Rewrite: And some of us will hit up a local karaoke joint except for Uncle Will because he’s in AA and cousin Beth because she’s a teenager who hates us all and is angry at the world….when she cooomes!!!
Jessica Delfino is a comedian, musician, writer and new mom who writes about life with one baby, one husband and one cat. She is currently developing a TV show about motherhood and writes about #momlife at Mommyish.com, VH1.com, her blog Jessy Delfino’s Blog, on The Coo on Facebook and Twitter, and more.
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